When you left, no tears fell, just confetti

If you have not had a chance to listen to Colbie Callait’s new “country” group, Gone West, please do yourself a favor and take a listen. It’s relevant to this post too, so two-for-one. I have also had alcohol after a slight cleanse so I am tipsy enough to put up a gorgeous photo of me.

Girls catch a lot of heat for being the crazy ones and overly emotional. We like to call ourselves “dumb” when we know we have walked into a horrible situation. But that’s not the truth, well, for most of us, some bitches just be cray-cray. I think girls are much more aware of their situations than we give them credit for. Let me give an example, any girl can start a fight with anyone at any time because we are so acutely aware of what other people want and how to push their buttons. Don’t believe me? Ask your married friends the last thing they fought over, guaranteed, the wife knew how to set it up and knock it clear out of the park.

Girl friends are probably the number one reason we are so good at knowing our surroundings and where we stand, when we are in a certain situation you can text a gal-pal and that bitch is going to tell you what you already frigging know, you just need it from someone that isn’t your mother. Most of the time we hold back the “I-told-you-so’s” as well, we are a civil folk.

So when we finally leave the toxic relationships, I blogged about those in the past, we are at first scared and not ready for the feelings we are going to have. But, then, we are free! It’s amazing how much better a girl feels once they have made the decision to leave a boy. The key here, it has to be our decision. When the boy leaves us, we usually take a few months to reset, again, another blog, another day.

Recently I had been seeing a guy, okay, “seeing” is a strong word, hanging out with a guy, who made it clear from the beginning he didn’t want a relationship. In his defense, he said it, I just didn’t listen. He would do nice things for me, take me out on dates, hold my hand in the grocery store, tell his boss about me, had me meet his friends. Shame on me for thinking it might turn into something. Insert giant eye-rolling emoji. Anyways, this went on for a few months, he’d give me back-handed compliments, openly check out other women and talk about how hot they were compared to me, tell me he could do better. Yet, I stayed around, disclosure, he was 6’4, I’m willing to give up a lot for that height. (We’ve been through this people, I’m shallow, read the first couple blogs, don’t @ me.) The entire time I would screenshot his texts and text my friends and group chats, everyone would be in shock of the things he would say to me and then follow them up with bf type comments, my one friend Lela started calling him “mixed signals,” the boy had no name-queue GOT puns for my bffs. It eventually got to the point that my friend Mary was about to lose her G*d-d*mn mind if I was with him another second. So after our last encounter I decided to let it go. She was right, my group chat was right, my friend’s husband was right, nothing I was going to do or he was going to do was going to change. He had me and I was letting him walk all over me, which is usually my specialty…

…Karma. One thing I have noticed is that every thing I have done to a boy has now been done to me. I do not believe in karma in the true sense of the word, but I do believe we reap what we sow and God has a funny sense of humor. I am learning how to be a good girl friend and a good girlfriend all at the same time. Anyways…

…Back to the story and the point of all this, I left the Britney Spears “Toxic” hot guy “relationship” and haven’t looked back. He still texts, I screenshot and send to friends who remind me not to respond. He’s been removed from my contacts and my social media and I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It’s amazing how we girls will take so much shit (sorry mama) and think we deserve it, when we don’t. I am 31, I have been on bumble/hinge dates, I’ve had guys reject blind dates, and yet I keep pushing forward and, thanks to my girl squad, I know that I am worth more than a hook-up, a girl to show off to your friends, and someone to screw with for your own amusement. Granted, my mother has also told me this for years, but she’s my mom, she has to be nice…….don’t worry that blog is coming too.

Ladies, this one is for you, we hate admitting when we are wrong and right when it comes to boys, but we have to have enough self-respect to walk away when needed. We are so strong for our besties and we tell them they deserve better, they deserve more, but we also have to realize it ourselves. I am so quick to say I will not settle when it comes to me dating someone I am not all that attracted to or just don’t have chemistry with, but it’s a whole different story when we think they are out of our league, or at least on our level.